| stupid finals |
[Dec. 8th, 2004|01:23 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Maroon 5 Sweetest Goodbye | ] |
I haven't written in here in a bit, but times have been busy. I'm also dividing my time between here and xanga, I kind of wanted a fresh start after the break up and what not. so if I have any faithful readers, just ask for da link.
I'm in the midst of finals week and working mucho. it's intense. need to go back to studying right now as a matter of fact, but hopefully I will be back and writing soon. |
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| over |
[Nov. 24th, 2004|12:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
this morning he emailed me to break up. of course this happens right after I walk in the door back home. (and of course I'm a nerd who checks her email right away...) here I was thinking i had prepared my damn self, going so far as to call myself "single" until I heard from him. well maybe that was so easy because I was convinced he'd be right there loving me. nope. I feel like throwing up and I'm crying and I do not know what to tell my parents. why did this have to happen at home? blah. anyway time to go brave. |
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| La La La |
[Nov. 21st, 2004|09:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | 80s jams yeahhhh | ] |
hmm I am quite intrigued on something I will have to share later. |
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| none |
[Nov. 21st, 2004|08:32 pm] |
it's been about a month since I last heard from Adam. Besides the shock of that, it doesn't even feel that long. I just can't believe he promised me he'd call the next day and just never did. I'm beginning to fear I may never hear from him. I don't know what to make of the email his mom wrote back to me. She said he's been really distant from her and hasn't called much and seems depressed, but he has actually called her unlike me. So now I'm kind of worried about him, although I am still considering myself single until further notice. no use sitting around waiting for him to deem me worthy of calling.
other than that carlos and erin came unexpectedly to visit at like 2 am friday. well saturday by then. they are the biggest potheads in the world, good ol' chico people. so I was high half the weekend. what fun. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 6th, 2004|11:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
I haven't written in here in forever, too busy but maybe I'll get addicted again. anyway, I must thank my lucky stars for lj communities and the goodwill of human beings cuz yaaaay someone found my wallet! I am offically shocked and awed. |
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| sleepy |
[Jul. 28th, 2004|02:37 am] |
I'm starting to feel kind of tired so this is just a quick entry before I hit the hay. Speaking of which, dentist appt tomorrow morning eww.
Tazza turned out completely grumpy and didn't even enjoy having pot with us. Thank god britt was there, or it would have been a horrible experience. although I guess at least if we hadn't had to go find britt it all would have happened faster and tazza wouldnt have been a grump and so it's not really her fault.
I hope tomorrow night is more fun. I am quite excited for some...excitement ;). |
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| Sex and the City |
[Jul. 27th, 2004|09:32 pm] |
Since I've been obsessively watching not only season 6 but plenty of earlier shows as well, had to take this quiz....
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| Finnaalllyyyy |
[Jul. 27th, 2004|09:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  devious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | RHCP By the Way (the CD) | ] |
Well, I am back from France and my internet is working again, so I am back! Hmm so what is new...
Adam and I are speaking on the phone again. That is a good piece of progress. We aren't talking every night yet, or as long as we used to, but it's better than nothing. Things feel really weird though, I must admit. I will probably expand on that later, but right now I feel like being shallow, and only talking about the obvious aspects of my life.
Home is...boring. It's nice, easy, lazy, but damn, talk about lazy. I go to bed late, get up around 12-2 pm, and do shit. Or no shit, I should say. I haven't been able to find a job yet, and other than that there is not much to do. And I wish at least my nights of staying up late were interesting, but usually they are not. My friends and I do basically the same thing every night...end up at someone's house watching tv or movies. It's nice but dull. I don't know. I'm ready for things to get spiced up, and hopefully they will be. Tomorrow is Christina's bday, so I am going to her party, which will possibly be small but should be fun at least. I think her roommmate is pretty damn cute (male), not that I would do anything but my friend and I enjoy looking and gossiping about it! Heheh that sounds like such a jr high form of entertainment, what have I come to?
Also, my gym membership starts up again aug. 1. Yippeee. It will be good to workout and I am actually excited as I have nothing else to do. Plus it's free (since my dad is paying for it :P). I'm on a diet at the moment, which is going ok but I have cracked under pressure a lot. I have lost some weight, and I don't think I have gained any of it back, but I still need to lose about 10 lbs. I think the exercise will help a lot. I figured out I was actually overweight for a little bit there. Not by very much, but still that came as a HUGE shock. I never thought I would be overweight, and then it just happened without my even realizing it. Oh well, I think I am on my way back to healthiness lol. But I sure miss my high school days when I was tiny. Hopefully it won't turn out that was when I would have the best body ever. Stupid high school girls. they all get dirty looks from me now. cruel but true.
I am waiting for tanya to get here. I finally convinced her to smoke with me harharar. hopefully she won't get paranoid again, or she may never forgive me. I'm being an on and off again pothead. there is so little to do in chico it is hard to avoid. And I don't really mind, except I really need to avoid the munchies. Luckily my fridge is stocked with healthy snacks! Well, I think I will go now, and write more later of course. Hopefully things will be fun with tazza tonite! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 20th, 2004|11:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | restless | ] |
Yay adam gets to talk to sophie tonight. !!!! HOORAY hehe ill talk to you soon then sophie doll
Love,
Baby
Ah the good old days when talking to my love blew away all clouds on the horizon. Now I sit here worrying he has forgotten me or is not loving me or who knows what out at basic, and it doesn't help that his mother hasn't replied to my emails. ;-(((
And another spot in my heart is being tugged. Coming into France the sights, the smells, Coldplay playing in the stereo, and I was rendered completely nostalgic. Being with Tanya, Britt and Amy in the south of France was in some ways a shallow time, we were really just 4 young girls getting drunk and having fun. But it was so much more. In the course of one week I learned I could be independent, I realized all the good times that are out there waiting for me. I bonded with my friends in ways that have yet to be repeated. We all want to go back next summer, even just for a couple of days. I'm already going back with my family but it wouldn't be the same without my girls. It will be crazy to do 2 years down the road, but at least less people will remember us and the trouble we got into haha. More about all that later, right now I am feeling nostalgic and missing certain people and my heart feels it's in a downward spiral so...a bowl of coco krispies to come and insta-cheer me up!!
by the way, I will be off in France somewhere else for about 10 days, so no entries til I get back. Tata |
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| Home |
[Jun. 11th, 2004|07:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Streets- The Irony of it All | ] |
Yes home, home at last.
So little has changed, yet so much. yeah, there I go, sounding like I'm talking out of my ass...but it's true! I guess the social atmosphere here will never change, only the town's physical appearance. Like people..ooh how deep. And no, I'm not high or anything. haha.
It's my birthday in 4 hours! Wow, I've been imagining where I was exactly one year ago. I don't care to elaborate on that right now, but if anyone reads this and is struck with an incessant need to know, just ask.
I need to buy CD cleaner. I'm putting that in here so I will hopefully remember. Yup. Time to go find something to do. I have a little pre-celebration planned for my bday at midnight, hope that works out. Until next time |
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| Just thinking |
[Jun. 8th, 2004|07:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | moody | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sugarcult-Lost in You | ] |
The weather is awfully cloudy right now. It looks like it may rain. Kind of disappointing after all the great weather we've had lately. Got me in a bit of a depressed thinking mode as well. Everyone is beginning to leave and it makes me wonder how much I really took advantages of my opportunities this year, and what I may have missed out on. How many close friends am I really leaving? Not many. I suppose most of the people I know agree that they still have more good friends from back home but...I just wonder if I could have gotten closer to people, had a better time. I don't really know where I am going with this, but I just feel like I reverted back to the shy person I was years ago for a couple of months, and that made all the difference. It shouldn't be like that though, should it? I was quiet for a few weeks and suddenly I'm a different person in the eyes of others.
Further along my little thought train of melancholy, I found myself looking up into the trees as I walked to check my mail. Sometimes I feel as though I view the world in a way different from everyone else. Just getting lost in all its qualities- beauty, pain, struggle. When I was young I always thought of myself as having the eyes of an artist...of course that was before I realized I had a huge lack of talent. So instead I just sit here and think about things. Wish they had a nobel prize for that. I guess it would be a bit hard to prove the winner though. I'd definitely be in the running though. My thoughts will save the world!
On a brighter note, I'm listening to the Police 'everything she does is magic'. What a nice happy song. It always makes me remember driving out to Brittany in France with my step-mom though, who was saying that she hated the Police because they are repititive! Personally I find it to be a large part of their charm.
Last little rant: why is it that a class that meets at 2:00 pm has a final at 8:00 am?? There is a reason people took the 2:00 class! They (myself included) are probably not morning people! Especially 8:00 am...I don't get up that early for any of my classes! Oh well, guess I won't be able to study very late tonight. Which means I should be off to more productive activities now. Til next time |
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| Weekend |
[May. 31st, 2004|08:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bush-Glycerine | ] |
I went to visit Britt in Santa Barbara this weekend. It was pretty fun but it was a bitch trying to get down there! She wanted me to come so badly she volunteered to come pick me up here (about 3 1/2 + hrs away) and then Friday morning she called me and said "actually, I'm not sure that's a good idea". I KNEW that was coming. I totally called it. I was very disappointed and about to start feeling sorry for myself when I realized that I had to be proactive. A girl in one of my psych classes that I did a group project with had happened to mention she was driving down to Santa Barbara this weekend as well. So, I figured 'what the hell' and called her. It was a bit awkward but she said ok. I was soo relieved. What I found both annoying and hilarious was that while Britt had earlier been saying it wasn't a good idea to visit not only because of the drive, but because she had to study and do homework, as soon as I told her I could get a ride she totally wanted me to come. lol. I still love her to death though and understand the feeling. So, I went down with the girl from class, and luckily she listened to pretty good music and we were able to talk so it wasn't a long, awkward drive. Two noteworthy events, however: at Taco Bell, they gave me a meat burrito instead of bean (!!!) so I didn't eat it :( and it was too late to go back when I realized the mistake. Also, we got a ticket on Hwy 101. It was my first time being with anyone getting pulled over. It was kind of one of those situations in which I knew I shouldn't laugh but I couldn't help it. Anyway, it sucked but at least we were almost there, and I got to Britt's dorm and bid my ride adieu.
Britt had promised a partay but by the time I got there and was dressed and stuff it was too late to go out as everything was basically over. I met 4 of her friends and we hung out and watched Willy Wonka. Had a little pot too which made the experience all the better haha. I hadn't seen that movie since I was...10 at the oldest! There was some crazy stuff in it I had never noticed. I think I will have to watch it again, even.
Next day we got up early to go...shopping! There were some outlets near SB so we went there. It was a mecca for Europeans! That was very exciting as Britt and I love to reminisce on our adventures in Europe lol. All day there were whispers of "hey, I think that one's British, look at his shoes" etc. hehe. and we were usually right!! I got a puma jacket and a top at guess. I wish we had found some young Europeans to talk to but alas, everyone was with family/older friends. We still had fun though. Britt didn't really find anything so we went to this weird little store in a Chinese neighborhood in LA. It had designer jeans for about 40-50% off and Abercrombie clothes etc. I didn't find any designer jeans, which is probably good, considering it would have put me out $60 at least, but I did get a couple of t-shirts and a pair of earrings. So that was cool. Britt got a top too. THEN we went back to SB, went to dinner, and enjoyed some drama. Two of her girlfriends came with us and while the food was pretty good, Britt ended up agreeing to call her ex to ask him to buy us some alcohol. As soon as she did it she felt REALLY bad and he was hurt and it was this whole big awful thing. He ended up doing it but it was still bad. And, speaking of that, no one paid me back for their share. dammit. oh well. So, again we didn't go out but we made Malibu and juice cocktails which were deeelicious. To be completely honest I would have rather gotten shitfaced, not the nice buzz I had but oh well. Wow, that makes me sound like an alcoholic lol. But I hadn't had any in at least a month. Anyway, we were in the process of looking up drinking games and getting buzzed when their 2 guy friends got all dramatic because the girls hadn't called them. It was ridiculous. They were drunk and pouty and basically after that no one wanted to have fun. So, britt and I went back to her room, watched the beginning of a movie and went to bed.
Sunday we were going to go on a bike ride with the 2 girl friends but they came by and Britt was like 'uhh we're not going'...not that I blame her because I was tired as hell. hah. Then she was like "oh let's just get up and go shopping!!". I was too tired even for that but I dragged myself out of bed. Then, we proceeded to the mall where we saw MORE british people and I spent MORE money. And brittany was almost convinced to buy a pair of gucci sunglasses. They were very cute but $200...which neither of us could afford whatsoever. After that we went home and chilled. Watched shrek 2 and fell asleep for a bit. Last night was probably the most fun. We went w/ the 2 guys and the girls were in there for a bit and we played egyptian rat slap. It was hilarious. We had some beers and our game literally lasted OVER AN HOUR. It was crazy. But we were all so into it and making noises and grunting and yelling everytime we either got cards or didn't and then would crack up for it. And one time I got a group of cards and Britt justl ooked at me and said "you BITCH". lmfao the worst part was she totally meant it. Anyway it was a hilarious night and I was close to tears from laughing several times. Maybe you had to be there, but it was good fun as I said.
Today came home at 8:30 am which felt soo early and crappy. I had to catch a ride back with my previous ride's friend but they were all pretty cool. And I slept in the car. Now I'm home. Ahh, home.
SB wasn't as different as I expected. Wasn't that much more fun than here, even though it's known as the big party school. I guess I was kind of relieved about that. And so cal is kind of ugly. The coast can be gorgeous but also lots of barren, ugly brown hills. What I'm trying to say is that I don't feel as bad about being here in Santa Cruz now. Although smoking inside was a great change. hehe. Ok well I should get going, Mali is gonna come hang with me. I need to figure out my housing for next year ASAP. |
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| Help |
[May. 25th, 2004|12:48 pm] |
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May have a nervous breakdown due to incredible amounts of work to be done in next 24 hours. Please do not worry if I don't come out of my room for 1 week. That is all. |
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| ARRRRRRRRGHHHHHH |
[May. 24th, 2004|12:53 am] |
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I don't know how I a m going to handle the next few days. *screams* Too...much...work and I can't do it!!! Too much caffeine. Please let me get through this ok!! |
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| Survey WHEEEEEE! |
[May. 22nd, 2004|04:19 pm] |
I stole this from Sara...
Firsts:
First best friend: Jennifer...girl I knew in preschool
First car: blue 95 ( i think) geo prism!
First real kiss: I was 15...yeah I know I was old...it was much fun though
First break-up: that would be 15 as well...
First screen name: something like dragongrrl or something...lol
First funeral: Katie Palmer's just a few weeks ago ;9
First pets: Coco and Wallaby my doggies
First piercing: ears when I was 6 or 7
First true love: Adam :)
First musicians you remember hearing in your house: sting and the police, INXS
Lasts:
Last cigarette: never
Last car ride: couple of hours ago w/ my dad
Last kiss: umm on the cheek to my dad, real kiss would be when adam left at the end of spring break :(
Last good cry: yesterday? or day before
Last library book checked out: book about josephine bonaparte
Last movie seen: Supersize Me
Last phone call: to Mali
Last time showered: yesterday before class...I think I'm due for another soon then lol
Last cd played: hm actual cd? not sure
Last item bought: lunch at Greek restaurant mmm
Last annoyance: my comp being slow
Last disappointment: not being invited places
Last time wanting to die: i've never REALLY wanted to die...I guess closest was junior year when...well the whole adam fiasco, long story.
Last shirt worn: green t shirt w/ some palm tree logo thingy on it
Last website visited: ypp forums
Last word you said: hm..."ok"?
Last song you sang: I'm not sure
What is in your cd player? umm looooots of music on my computer
What color socks are you wearing?: how is this a "last"? anyway im not wearing any
What Color underwear are you wearing?: no comment
What's under your bed?: folded boxes
What time did you wake up today?: 7 15 am...had to pack stuff b4 dad got here
Currents:
Current mood: tired/bored...
Current music: "I believe in a thing called love" the darkness
Current taste: garlicish...anyone want a kiss?? lol
Current hair: in a ponytail type thing
Current clothes: jean capris and cask 'n cleaver marathon t shirt...i loooove it
Current annoyance(s): i guess my boredom. WOW IT'S FIVE PM?!? ok that is my new annoyance. where did the day go??
Current desktop picture: purple flower
Current book(s): The Stones of Summer..not sure if it is a worthwhile read yet though
Current color of toenails: au natural
Current time-wasting wish: I wish my Adamy was here :(
Current hate: eh I dunno.
One or the Other:
1. Black or white? black
2. Boxers or briefs? boxers
3. Coke or Pepsi? coke
4. Salt or pepper? salt
5. Sweet or sour? sweet
6. Vanilla or chocolate? CHOCOLATE
7. Short or long? hmm...depends on the subject ;)
8. Cheap or expensive? I like quality deals.
9. Firm or soft? wow I have a dirty mind. depends on the subject again though.
10. Hot or cold? hot shower
My favorite...
1. Color is: maroon green and lavender
2. Song is: can't pick just one
3. Scent is: fresh rain smell
4. Alcoholic beverage is: hard lemonade...chick drink? perhaps...but I am a chick
5. Food is: mmm so many things. chocolate mousse is up there though.
5 things you did so far today...
(okay, i'm counting yesterday... it's too early in the a.m. to have done anything interesting today)
1. packed some stuff in boxes
2. cleaned! ( not my whole room but I did a good chunk of it)
3. went to look for storage space
4. ate yummy greek lunch
5. walked by the ocean and saw pairs of otters! soooooooooo cute! I love otters!
5 things you can hear right now...
1. a bird chirping/singing
2. click of mouse and keys
3. elaine turning the pages in her book
4. car...somewhere
5. the loud silence
5 things you do when your bored...
1. go online
2. call Mali
3. sleep
4. read
5. wander hall
5 people that never fail to cheer you up...
1. Adam
2. Tazza
3. Brittany
4. Mali
5. Arrglain
5 things you can't live without...
1. Adam
2. my friends
3. my family
4. music
5. food
5 things you love...
1. Adam
2. dogs
3. the beach/ocean.
4. long mornings/days in bed
5. cuddles and kisses
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